Science Says Baked Cheese is Highly Addictive

FINALLY science has taken a break from proving Earth's spherical shape to B.o.B to afford us an explanation on why we just can't get enough baked cheese : Turns out baked cheese triggers the same excitable brain-parts as drugs! The study, researched at the University of Michigan and published in the U.S. National Library of Medicine.... It found that the more processed and fatty the food, the more likely it was to cause addiction, which is why no one has ever been addicted to carrots but there are still Little Debbie brownies. The most addictive food was, oh hey this is weird, pizza. (On a college campus? Crazy.)

Indeed, the most addictive foods in the study contained cheese. That's partly due to its high concentration of casein, a protein that can ignite your brain's opioid receptors and produce the familiar craving for another hit enjoyed by all those pockmarked yellow-skinned people in the police blotter.

Casein is found in all dairy products, but the cheese-making process concentrates it—which is awesome because Americans consume 35 pounds of cheese a year. That's a lot of of sweet, sweet casein. And while even eating an aircraft carrier's worth of baked cheese will not yield any actual hallucinogenic effect, someone is almost certainly trying right now. To that person we say: No, baked cheese will NOT replace your drug habit. But it might help keep you extra sharp.

Excerpt from this GQ article by Jeff Vrabel. Photo GQ.